GIC referrals
Going to your GP asking to be referred to the Gender Identity Clinic definitely takes a lot of bravery and courage. A tip could be asking a close friend or family member who is supportive to go in with you or waiting for you in the waiting room may help with getting you past the very valid fear of the 'what if's, 'will they believe me?' and 'will they help me?'.
For me it was the fear of how the GP was going to react, if they were going to do what was in my best interest or dismiss all my thoughts and feelings and send me away. Personally, I’ve had very mixed experiences with GPs but have found that whenever someone undermines you and sends you away, move onto the next GP and keep going. No matter how it breaks you, there will be someone who can help you and you will find them! We will not let cisgender doctors who may know nothing/have limited knowledge about being transgender or about the difficult position they put us in when they say no, stop our fight and our right to feel comfortable in our own bodies/selves.
I was lucky with the GP who did my GIC referral, I’d never met her before and yet she was so understanding, wanted what was best for me, we filled out the necessary information together and she sent the referral off straight away! I’m very aware that this is not the case for everyone and I’m incredibly sorry if you have had a bad experience because no one should have to fight for who they are, but this is proof that good GPs are out there.
How I got my referral: (please note this happened 3 plus years ago now so it could be slightly different now or depending on your GP):
Firstly, after a few attempts of ringing the surgery and hanging up due to nerves, I finally stuck with it and mustered up the courage to speak to the receptionist. I asked her for an appointment and when she asked “what the appointment was regarding?”, I could think of no way to subtly say my answer while wanting to make sure that my response gave me a fighting shot of being put with an understanding doctor. That’s how I ended up blurting out “I am a transgender man and want to be referred to the Gender Identify Clinic” to which she said “okay, you are all booked in”. This made me realise that GP receptionists have heard everything and although this was a big thing for me it was just a normal day for her, which was actually pretty reassuring for me when thinking of all the other things people may need an appointment for.
On the day of the appointment, I went alone and I decided to walk to my GP surgery instead of taking the bus as it gave me time to plan out what I was going to say, imagine different situations of what might happen and what I was going to do if it didn’t go well (treat myself to lots of sweet treats and have a film night in bed – my happy place).
After waiting anxiously in the waiting room listening to heart radio station blasting in the waiting room (good old Adele helping to pass the frozen time), my name was called and I followed her into her room. I explained my gender identity and what I wanted from this appointment – to be referred to the GIC. She was great, getting the form out on her laptop, asking me different questions about my identify in a polite and respectful manner, why I wanted to be referred and what I wanted to get from the GIC, health and medical information, taking my weight and height and checking if I had any questions. Bish Bash Bosh, done and onto my sweet treat!
Although the waitlist is painfully long and nowhere near where it should be, it’s important to celebrate all the wins and successes, no matter how big or small, be proud of yourself for pushing on!
We’ve got this.
By Jay Alexander
Dealing with the GIC waiting list
The waiting list for the GIC is a long, difficult experience, it can feel like you’re in limbo and it is never going to end. When I was referred to the GIC back in November 2017 I was initially told the waiting list would be 6 months, however, I got my appointment in March 2020. Every time I contacted them about any updates to how long the waiting list was and my position on it, it was longer and longer and it was extremely exhausting for me. There are things that I did to help me deal with the GIC waiting list that I would like to share to help anyone who may be in the same position I was.
Firstly, and perhaps the most important, celebrate little steps within your transition. Medical transition is not the only aspect of transition, celebrate all the haircuts you get, or when someone genders you correctly. You could compare you now with old pictures of yourself to see how far you’ve come if you feel comfortable doing this. You’ve already made so much progress by being on the GIC waiting list! You will be on the other side eventually, even if it feels like forever.
Another thing that can be helpful to do whilst being on the waiting list is to start writing about your gender in detail and how you feel about it. For me, I wrote an essay because this was the format that I could express myself best in, however this can be whatever format you feel comfortable writing in. In my essay I went into extreme detail around how I felt around my body and other aspects of my gender, how others misgendering made me feel and what I’d like to achieve within my transition. I eventually sent this essay to the GIC when I saw them and it was very helpful in them understanding my dysphoria and diagnosing me. Writing down how your gender makes you feel can also be helpful preparation for the kind of questions they will ask you at the GIC.
It is really important to have a support network around you during this time and know where to get help if you need it. During my time on the waiting list, I had many friends who had been through the waiting list and were now being seen by the GIC. I found this really reassuring as I knew that if they could get through it, I could to. If you are struggling with difficult thoughts, it may be helpful to talk to an organisation such as SHOUT, Samaritans or LGBT switchboard who may be able to support you better during those periods of difficult thoughts. It’s important to remember that you are not alone and you will get through this.
By Bren
